by Amanda B. McKelroy | March 5, 2018
“And some of them believed, and consorted with Paul and Silas; and of the devout Greeks a great multitude, and of the chief women not a few.” ~Acts 17:4
Most of the Bible stories we read talk about men and the things they accomplished for the Lord. But in Acts we read about the “chief women” who committed their lives to Christ. There are actually many stories about women who influenced the people in their world, they are spread out and not as prominent but they are there waiting to be noticed.
I have this burning desire in my life to influence people and to make a difference in people’s lives. Not only as a Christian do I desire to lead people to the Lord, but I reflect on the people in my life who have greatly influenced me and how much I grew from that influence and I passionately want to be that for someone else. In life, everyone is a leader to some degree. There is always somebody who looks up to you, is watching you, and is learning from your example. The question is what are they learning?
God created women with the potential to wield great power and influence. Culture during the time the book of Acts was written, culture dictated that a woman be submissive to the male authority in her life (either father or husband). Women were dependent on the male authority in their life and expected to submit fully, yet there are women who were considered “chief women.” These women were reverenced and respected. It’s not hard to make the connection that a woman who has the respect to be called a chief woman was influential.
This thought made me stop and ponder what kind of woman would be considered a chief woman. What kind of woman has powerful influence in her sphere? How do I grow to become that woman? The examples I have found are of women who were yielded to their authority, not stubborn, loud, and independent.
Today’s society is riddled with the cancer of feminism and women’s rights movements. For many years women have been fighting for equality with men because they desired more power and more influence. But, in studying the Bible stories about women who made a huge impact on the people in their spheres I find that our society of influence hungry women has left out crucial elements and focused on the wrong means to the end they desire. A biblical woman of influence doesn’t riot in the streets or yell on street-corners; she is not cruel and malicious nor does she use manipulative tactics to get her way. Please allow me to show you from the Scriptures what a true woman of influence looks like.
She is selfless
There is a story in the Bible about a woman named Esther. She was a very special lady. Esther was a Jew that was living in the city Sushan (not a Jewish city), being raised by her uncle after the death of her parents. One year, the King chose Esther to be his Queen, not knowing that she was a Jew. After moving to the palace, Esther was informed that a decision had been made to wipe out all of the Jews from the land. In those days, the Queen did not live in the same room as the King. Often she had her own house separate from his palace. If the Queen entered the King’s presence without being summoned, and he did not want to see her, she would be put to death.
When Esther found out that her people were going to be annihilated, she asked her uncle for advice. He told her to go to the King, reveal that she was a Jew, and request that her people be spared. She was unsure at first, because the King had not summoned for her in thirty days. Her uncle reminded her that God was in control, not her. He told her that God would deliver His people at the hand of someone else and in addition to missing the chance to be used by God, all of her family would be destroyed in the coming attack. Her uncle made a very powerful statement to Esther: “and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” ~Esther 4:14
Esther had the perfect response. She asked her uncle to fast and pray for her, and said that she and all her household staff would do the same for three days. At the end of those three days of fasting and prayer, she would go before the King to make the request to save her people. She said this: “And so will I go in unto the king, which is not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish.” ~Esther 4:16 What a statement! She chose to take a chance on being able to make a difference in the lives of her people – literally – knowing it could cost her own life. That is the epitomy of being selfless.
We are not asked to risk our lives to make a difference in other people’s lives. We don’t face perils like Queen Esther did in order to be women of influence. Proverbs describes a woman who does not live for herself and what life and the people in her life can do for her:
“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” ~Proverbs 31:27-28
A woman who lives selflessly looks for ways to serve and care for her household. Life is not all about her and getting what she wants. Instead she chooses to live a life centered around serving her Lord and the people He has entrusted to her care.
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” ~Proverbs 14:1
She yields to authority
The subject of submission is a sticky one in today’s society. We believe that if we submit to our authority they will run us over and trample all over us. We have been taught that we have to stand up for ourselves and never back down. But I can’t find that example in the Bible. What I can find are Scriptures that instruct us to yield to the authority in our lives. Specifically wives are commanded to submit to their husbands. Wives are not commanded to be doormats, or allow themselves to be abused; but they are to be submissive. The definition of submissive is: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient. That word meek means power under control. Women have great power, we all know we can get our way with the men in our lives. That’s not in question. The question is are we living and acting in a manner that puts us in a position to influence those around us? We can’t be that godly woman of influence if we are not yielded to our authority.
“Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.” ~Hebrews 13:17
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” ~ Ephesians 5:22-24
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” ~Colossians 3:18
“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothes with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” ~I Peter 5:5
May I interject an observation for those of us who struggle with submitting to authority even though it feels like we are setting ourselves up to be trampled on, reality is that the more we yield to our authority, the more they will want to defer to us and our preferences.
My mom has two dogs; both are Yorkshire Terriers. One of them is a grumpy old man and he’s not very fun to be around. He is stubborn, uncooperative, and unaffectionate. He wants his way when and how he wants it, and if he doesn’t get it he nags at you until you give in to his demands. His name is Shotgun. The other dog is submissive and very affectionate. You can scold him with your eyes and he responds with an immediate apology for whatever transgression he has committed. He will run to you and love on your foot in apology. He loves to play with anyone who enters our home, he is kind to everyone he meets-never growling or baring teeth when children tug on him or smack him in play, and he obeys any command you give that he knows. His name is Pistol. Now, which one of those two would you want to treat better? Would you prefer to award the stubborn, demanding, unaffectionate Shotgun; or the submissive, affectionate, kind Pistol? I find it easier to shower Pistol with treats and affection than to do the same for Shotgun. The same principles that apply to my moms Yorkies apply to me as a woman. It is easier for my authority to shower me with “treats” and affection when I am yielded to them than when I am being stubborn and demanding. Maybe there is some wisdom to the Scriptures instructing us to submit after all.
She is gracious
“These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Therefore many of them believed; also of honourable women which were Greeks, and of men, not a few.” ~Acts 17:11-12
These two verses describe the reaction to the Gospel from the next town the apostles went to after the town with the “chief women.” In this town, they described the women they found as “honourable women,” another strong description for the women they encountered. Honourable is defined as: bringing or worthy of honor. Honor is described as: high respect, great esteem, a person or thing that brings credit. Wow, so these women brought credit to Christ according to the account Paul tells of the apostles’ encounter with them. I want to be known as a woman who brings honor to Christ. How can I be a godly woman of influence if I do not bring honor to Christ by my words and actions? I cannot. But how do I become a honorable woman? The Bible once again has an answer to my question:
“A gracious woman retaineth honour: and strong men retain riches.” ~Proverbs 11:16
“The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.” ~Ecclesiastes 10:12
The Bible says that the path to being a person who brings honor to Christ starts with being gracious. The word gracious means courteous, kind, and pleasant; elegant, tasteful, showing divine grace. If I want to be gracious, I must be kind and pleasant. At this point I have to stop and ask myself: am I a kind and pleasant person? Am I easy to be around, or am I stubborn and uncooperative and hard to get along with? Self-reflection is not a fun task, but if I’m honest with myself I could be better at being a gracious woman. If my goal is to truly be a godly woman of influence, then I must be a woman who brings honor to Christ and that cannot happen if I am not gracious, kind, and pleasant.
She is kind
In everything we do, if we want to be a godly woman of influence, we must be kind through and through. It is not a façade you put on when dealing with people in public and then take off when you are in private. It must be part of the fabric of who you are to be kind. It is a way of living and speaking.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” ~Ephesians 4:32
“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” ~Proverbs 31:26
“There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.” ~Proverbs 12:18
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” ~Proverbs 16:24
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” ~I Peter 3:1-6
This last passage says that a meek and quiet spirit is in the sight of God of “great price.” Wow, what a powerful statement for Peter to make! God greatly values a woman with a meek and quiet spirit. The word meek means power under control. Peter is acknowledging in that statement that women have power, and the ability to choose to submit that power to their authority. The part of the phrase a “quiet spirit” is of particular interest to me as I am a “chatty Cathy” of a person. But in Proverbs chapter 7 there is a woman described who intentionally lives contrary to God. She is called the strange woman. Part of the description of this woman in verse 11 is that “She is loud and stubborn.” So Peter is telling us that God values a woman who harnesses her feminine power, choosing to submit to her authority; and God values a quiet spirit, that is not quiet in the sense of never speaking but quiet in the sense of being the opposite of loud and stubborn like the woman described in Proverbs 7.
In conclusion, there is a clear path laid out in Scripture for becoming a godly woman of influence for me to follow. I feel like Caleb at the mount Hebron when he told Moses, “I want that mountain!” Caleb was determined to have what God said could be his. He had only to go conquer it. Caleb told Moses: Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the Lord spake in that day…if so be the Lord will be with me, then I shall be able…as the Lord said.” ~Joshua 14:12
With the Lord’s help, I can examine myself with brutal honesty and determine if I possess the characteristics needed to be a godly woman of influence. Am I selfless, yielded to my authority, gracious, and kind? I can make changes in my life and with God’s help I can work on having these necessary qualities.
“What shall we then say to these things? If God be fore us, who can be against us?… Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” ~Romans 8:31 & 37
